So, this is me: I work at a college library. Actually, I bear the official title of "Archives Coordinator," and I work in the institutional archives associated with the library. But today I am sitting at the library's circulation desk waiting for phantom patrons to materialize and vanish before I lock the doors at 7:30. It has been a slow shift to this point. Ah, someone just entered, but he just walks to the copier.... uses it.... walks back out. Sigh. Sighting made, but no human contact.

I really do like my job. I've been telling this to my husband, Scott, for weeks. But today is my first day back after a two-week vacation (during which I was sick for half the days), and I already feel swamped and overwhelmed by the stacks of items to be accessioned into the collections, the mail waiting for replies, and the annual report due at the end of the week that I only started today. And instead of working a full day on all of these depressing pressing things, I'm pulled away to man the circ desk because the library doesn't have enough of a budget to hire the people needed to cover the full hours it is open in the summer. Either that, or they just make me do it because I'm the youngest on staff and the person most likely to stay up past 8pm on a normal weekday.

Did I mention I'm the only person on staff with a full head of hair that isn't laced with grey? Scott has been ribbing me lately because I've picked of the verbal tic of exclaiming "good heavens" when something surprises me. This development doesn't shock me, given my work environment.

But anyway, I am the prestigious archives coordinator, and I run the archives by myself. I'm not a director because I don't have the required MLS degree and thus my employer does not have to pay me or bill me as a director, although I carry out most of the duties of one. My budget comes from a few lines in the library's budget, so the administrative librarian takes care of the financial ends, and I deal with the rest (storage, promotion, collection development, policies, etc.). Oh yeah, and I have almost no formal training in how to do my job (remember, no degree?), so everything I do I've learned by the hands-on approach. I also employ four 10-hour/week workstudy student staff members during the school year.

My work schedule has been flexible in the past two years because I've been working on a MA degree in English for the past four semesters. This fall I have only my thesis to write, and then I'll be finished with the degree. So far, I've been commuting 33 miles to take graduate classes part-time and then returning to work full-time in my hometown. It will be nice to settle down into a normal 9-to-5 routine for the first time in my life... at least, I think it will be nice.

So, um, what is my point with all this... I'm not sure. I guess this is my introduction of myself to you. This is my partial justification for the stress I am feeling right now as I sit at this desk. This is my attempt to communicate with someone else who hasn't materialized in my vision yet, but who I still believe exists out there somewhere.

I need to communicate. I need to dream, and to feel that my dreams of connecting with others is more than a fantasy I entertain as I sit in my silent office processing the papers, photos, and lives of people long dead and almost forgotten. I need to reach out my fingers, push open my sensory circuits, and try.

And so, this is me.

Who are you, and what are we?